setting (Friendly, helper) goals
We want to feel good, and we are ready to make sustainable change to get there. But where do we start, and where are we heading?
Your first step is to reconnect with your WHY. If you haven’t done that yet please do it first!
WHY GOALS?
Why do we need goals at all? Because you can’t do everything in one day or one step. Breaking your good intentions down into smaller achievable goals makes them much more likely to become reality.
“Goals turn your intentions into reality”
4 STEPS to your goals
So how do we set (friendly, helper) goals? First grab your WHY and another fresh sheet of paper, and answer these questions:
STEP 1) Identify the GAPS
Ask yourself:
what am I currently doing that is stopping me from doing or achieving my intentions?
what am I currently NOT doing that is stopping me from doing or achieving my intentions?
what feels the hardest or most frustrating?
what do I keep meaning to do?
For example:
WHY = I want to have better physical and mental health
Current behaviours: feel overwhelmed, sedentary lifestyle, poor diet, no strength training
Hardest: sticking to healthy eating schedule
Keep meaning to: try mindfulness
These gaps becomes areas of opportunity.
Brainstorm these areas for your WHY (or WHYs if you have more than one).
STEP 2) Identify BEHAVIOURS to start to close that gap.
For each of the areas of opportunity, identify BEHAVIOURS that might start to close the gaps.
(Notice we aren’t jumping straight to outcomes like “lose weight” or “get fitter,” but instead focusing on repeatable behaviours, that can then become habits. This is because behaviours are within your control, outcomes are not.)
For example:
Mindset: take 5 minute ‘time outs’
Sedentary: Walk more
Strength: strength train twice a week
Diet: Eat more fruit and vegetables and healthy snacks
Sleep: Go to bed 30 minutes earlier
STEP 3) Turn the behaviours into SMART goals
So now we know what we want to do, but if it hasn’t happened before, why will it now?
Because we get much more detailed.
Select just THREE behaviours identified above, and for each answer these questions:
S = Specific: what exactly will I do? Get really detailed.
M = Measurable: how will I know I’ve done it?
A = Achievable: does this fit my real life right now? Is it realistic?
R = Relevant: does this connect clearly to my WHY or values?
T = Time-bound: when will I start and end this behaviour? (Tip: keep it short to start)
Example 1: Movement
WHY: I want to have better physical health
Value: Energy
Behaviour: Strength training
SMART goal: For the next 2 weeks, starting Saturday, I will complete two 15-minute strength workouts each week, at 730am on Mondays and 1230pm on Thursdays (working from home), in the sitting room, using TRIBE workouts.
Example 2: Mindfulness / Stress
WHY: Feeling overwhelmed
Value: Grounded
Behaviour: Pausing during the day
SMART goal: For the next 7 days, starting Monday, I will listen to one 5-minute TRIBE Pause each weekday, at 715am on office days and at 12 noon on working from home days.
STEP 4: Make the GOALS part of your ‘normal’ daily plan
Make sure these SMART goals and behaviours fit in with all your other commitments, and if not, move and change things around. Then ink your new behaviours and commitments into your diary/calendar.
Inform anyone who needs to know (partner, kids, parents, friends), and ask them to support you in making these new priorities happen.
Finally, add the GOALS to your TRIBE weekly planner - download it here.
REMEMBER: WE AREN’T AIMING FOR PERFECTION, AN SOME THINGS WON’T WORK - AND THAT’S NORMAL!
Be sure to check in on your GOALS regularly, and review the SMART criteria if you aren’t making progress: there’s always another way to approach it.