reconnect to why
Your WHY is your anchor. It’s the deeper reason that will steady you when motivation wobbles or life gets busy.
If you want to make changes, you need to know WHY you are doing it.
And if the why MATTERS, really MATTERS to you, then change will be much easier and likely to succeed.
Can I suggest you grab a pen and piece of paper for this next bit? Writing down your thoughts helps you to process and get clarity.
4 STEPS TO YOUR WHY:
FEELINGS: Take a moment to reflect on (and write down) how you want to FEEL, not just how you want to look or perform. Do you want more energy? Strength? Calm? Confidence? Freedom? Or something else? (Notice we are focusing on the positive things we want to feel MORE, not the negative things we want to feel less.)
Then ask yourself WHY you want to feel more this way. Maybe to feel like yourself again, to live free of disease and illness, to be kind to yourself? What would change in your day-to-day life if you felt these different, positive ways?
VALUES: It’s also worth noticing whether your WHY connects to your values and how you want to live your life. Does this way of caring for yourself align with who you want to be? With the kind of life you’re choosing to create? (WHY? Because when your actions are in harmony with your values, healthy choices stop feeling like effort and start feeling like self-respect. In other words you do the healthy habit because you WANT to, not because you ‘should’.)
Write down a few values you want to live by (maybe joy, positivity, gratitude, compassion, family, health etc) and think about how you can apply these values to your ‘WHYs’ so far, for example: “I want to feel more energy”. I’m not judging myself for lacking energy (self compassion), I know I can make lifestyle changes that will give me more energy (positivity), including leaning into and being grateful for the things that really give me joy (getting outdoors with friends and family).
SHOULD OR WANT TO? Now consider if you are experiencing ‘internal’ or ‘external’ motivation. List out any of these you are feeling, separated into two categories:
External motivators: (perceived) expectations of family or friends, deadlines, pressure, comparison. These are “shoulds”: they can get us started, but rarely last
Internal motivation: comes from within, from meaning, purpose and self belief. When your WHY is internal, compassionate, and values-led, it becomes a source of energy making you “want to” do something.
Give priority and weight to your OWN internal drivers for making changes.
SUMMARISE: Finally, summarise your WHY in one or two sentences. It doesn’t have to be pretty: you can (and will) edit it later/tomorrow/next week!